Domesticating your Inner Critic and Saboteur: Making Sense of your Inner Dialogue

November 10, 2019


I’m delighted to share this partner and fellow psychotherapist, Sandy Farac & I have spent a big chunk of 2019 putting together a special course on the inner critic and saboteur which we are offering to everyone in the world using the power of the Internet in January 2020 (and beyond). 






Basically everyone.


We made this course because we both found through our private practices that pretty much everyone lives their lives feeling that there are things they would do or change (e.g. career, relationship, city)...


...if only ‘A, B, C, D’ was different... 


...Or that they are ‘just a...[insert reason]' (e.g. house wife, unqualified, overqualified, too old, too young, too fat, too thin, not smart enough, too ugly etc, etc).


...Or, they get triggered often which leads to a lot of drama and conflict in their lives.


...Or they experience anxiety and/ or depression.


It's very common to find people's creativity, ambition and relationships smothered by thoughts and feelings that they are not good enough.


Many people don’t realise just how heavily impacted they are by their brutal inner critics. Such people tend to think that everyone (including themselves) should just ‘get on with it’ and not be so precious.


All of these behaviours are examples of the inner critic and saboteur weaving their dark magic to frustrate our growth and joy whilst telling us how much we suck.







These are from some people who have already been through:


1. "This course is ideal for you if you want to move forward in your life but can't seem to make the progress you know you're capable of. If you feel that you're hitting 'invisible' barriers, or making similar mistakes repeatedly and can't seem to change things - then your answers might be here. Be prepared for uncovering layers of yourself that you don't even realise are holding you back and watch yourself grow and move forward with the insights and techniques gained from this course. Amar & Sandy are a wonderfully balanced team who provide a safe and inviting space for vulnerability and learning."


2. "This course has taught me more about myself in 4-weeks then I've learned in 20-years of living. It was a very safe and open space to communicate our feelings. It turns out we can all relate to each other’s feelings. I never knew the impact my inner critic was having on me everyday and this work opened me up to the possibility of having a much more positive and calm life. Sandy and Amar made me feel so comfortable sharing with the group and helped me reach my full potential of self-growth each week. I've met amazing, like-minded people through this course and I enjoyed it every week."


3. "I loved the different way this topic (that I thought I knew quite a bit about!) was approached. Sandy and Amar brought a rich, informative yet also deeply personal approach to this course; learning about our inner critic, its origins as well as other archetypal aspects of self along the way. I really enjoyed the open and dynamic group sharing, the exercises were very valuable and the background information was enough to keep the intellect stimulated whilst diving into the layers of self. These included at times revealing hidden memories, vulnerabilities and past hurts; acknowledged and supported by Amar and Sandy in such a genuine, caring, non-judgemental way that made me feel safe whilst also allowing space for more to be uncovered."







We worked out a unique model that describes this whole aspect of our psyche (that's the triangular model below).



We worked out that the toxic dynamic between our Inner Critic & Saboteur is linked to our Inner Child, specifically the ‘Innocent’ & ‘Orphaned’ aspects. We need to connect with each of these elements in a specific order and unique way to successfully tame our inner critic and saboteur.


Developing an inner critic and saboteur is an essential and natural part of life. Literally everyone forms them, but we don't have to keep them untamed and let them rule our lives by keeping us on the sidelines (or worse!) The question is whether we choose to face the parts of ourselves that stop us trying new things, keep us stuck in a rut, bring us lots of conflict and/ or keep us feeling small and at the mercy of life, or whether we surrender to them.






By the end of the course you will get at least a when, how, why and what.

You will understand WHEN your inner critic and saboteur were formed, HOW they manage to impact your life in ways you may not currently see, WHY most people don't realise how much power their inner critic and saboteur have and WHAT to do with them in the moment they attack in order to befriend them. 


Together these are life-changing insights.


Actually, you will get a lot more learning and a ton of personal insight as well, but the answer above gives a enough of a framework to work with. We welcome a conversation about the course if you would like more specific info.






In addition to working with our clients, making this course involved us looking deeply into our own inner critics & saboteurs to work on them. 


We worked through a bunch of courses & read every good book we could find on the subject.


We looked into cutting-edge neuroscience, Jungian psychology, Voice Dialogue Therapy, Internal Family Systems, The Karpman Drama Triangle and Process-oriented Psychology, among other disciplines.


The result of all of this was that it became clear that courses that only look at the inner critic in isolation are unbalanced & incomplete. 


This is one of the reasons why people can do inner critic courses & feel better for a short time, but then fall back into living small. 


We were interested only in making a course that has significant, long-term impact.


On a more personal note, aside from bringing our lived commitment to nurture holistic wellbeing in ourselves and others...


I brought the wisdom and rigour cultivated by teaching at university for almost 10-years with another 5-years in adult education coupled with an intention to integrate and add to the best work available on the inner critic and saboteur.


And Sandy brought the wisdom and insight she cultivated over her 20-year career transforming people into their happier and shinier selves to make sure this course is as accessible and powerful as possible.






For people who wish to face their inner critic and saboteur so they roll into 2020 with more freedom, peace and a compassionate understanding of themselves and others, we are offering this course in January in the form of 4-experiential webinars delivered weekly. 


These are live and interactive, rather than pre-recorded 'evergreen' videos. Each week has been engineered to include interactive processes, visualisations & reflections designed to support insights that lead to measurable proactive and positive changes in your life. 


Each live webinar runs for 2-2.5 hours. The time variation is because this is group work, and it is the group dynamic that determines when we finish. Also, with this sort of personal work, it can be negligent to cut people off to finish at a time that's been set in stone when they are deeply in their experience or process.


We will be running on Wednesday, January 8 - January 29, 7pm to 9-9:30pm (Australian Eastern Summer Time). 


This course is open to people all over the world. We chose this delivery mode so you can work from the privacy and comfort of your own space. All you need is reliable internet, fast enough to video call.


Each of these webinars will have two facilitators, Sandy and I.


The maximum group size is 12 people, so there’s space for each person to explore whatever they need to.






The first option for the course is for between 8 and 10-hours with two facilitators (both trained psychotherapists) in a group of 12 (max). This is delivered as weekly 2-2.5-hour live and interactive webinars. You will also a get a booklet with valuable information. You can print and fill-in this booklet in certain spots with your own personal responses and insights, which you can then anchor by referring back to after the course ends.


The second option contains everything in option one and also 4 x one-hour, one-on-one hour sessions to embed more deeply into your being the wisdom that you find. Or you could choose to take your work to the 'next level'. People have used our profound material as a springboard to do very deep work. Choosing this option transforms this course into an even more powerfully immersive crucible for growth and healing. This option is for people who wish to give themselves access to every possible support to transform their inner critic and saboteur as quickly as possible and integrate the longest-term gains. These one-on-one sessions are delivered weekly at a time that suits you.


This course has practical applications in personal and business contexts as inner critic and saboteur work is necessary to cultivate the balanced judgement that sits at the root of both good decision making and healthy relationships. Father of the term 'emotional intelligence', Daniel Goleman has labelled inner critic work as 'necessary' in cultivating emotionally intelligent leadership in his book, Primal Leadership. 






DM either Sandy or myself if you’re feeling curious or want to know more details. Feel free to forward this invitation to whomever you feel could benefit.


We can also deliver our course to groups and in workplaces as a one-day workshop.


Why not kickstart 2020 with 20/20 inner vision?


Come & join us! 


Btw, one reason it is so exciting to offer this course is that it is completely aligned with our senses of purpose-driven living: to support people to be vitalised and living their best lives possible. 


We welcome people of all orientations and persuasions.



Please reload

Recent Posts

Please reload


Please reload